Fourteen ago Australians waited with bated breath. We all waited as the Coalition gathered in the party room meeting to decide whether their members and their senators would allow a free vote on Marriage Equality.
This debate brought on by moderate Liberals gave hope that Marriage Equality would finally become a reality in this country.
Hope that the party which prides itself on championing the freedom of the individual would finally and belatedly give expression to that principle on this issue in this Parliament.
But the Liberal moderates were scuttled, first by the ambush of a joint party meeting and then with the outcome of a marathon 6 hour debate, and what eventually emerged was the former prime minister Tony Abbott's latest delaying and blocking tactic, the plan to hold a plebiscite.
The outcome was met with immediate public disappointment. It was clear that the plebiscite was simply yet another hurdle another obstacle, another delay, an obstacle designed by hardline opponents like senators Abetz and Bernardi to make the path on Marriage Equality more difficult, more fraught and more contested.
The Abbott/Abetz/Bernardi plebiscite was a cynical and cruel political tactic which was rightly opposed by the Liberal moderates and by the man who is now the Prime Minister, Mr Turnbull. How times change.
Australians overwhelmingly support Marriage Equality, yet now Mr Turnbull is asking them to do, as opponents of that equality demand, to take a path he did not support. This Prime Minister is asking all of us to deliver on the Faustian pact he made with those who will never support equality. That he struck such an agreement against principle, and against his own judgement, diminishes him. That he is demanding that we deliver it disrespects all of us.
This Parliamentary debate ought not have been about process it ought have been about progress. LGBTIQ Australians have been fighting for social and legal equality for decades, and our fight for equality has come a long way.
Only 41 years ago consensual sexual acts between two male adults were illegal in all Australian States. In 1975 my home state of South Australia was the first to decriminalised homosexuality.
The fight for decriminalisation in all Australian states continued for a further 22 years another generation when your State, Mr President, Tasmania finally decriminalise homosexuality in 1997.
From those first wins the community has continued to fight for reform to the laws in states and territories across country. Of course at Federal level substantial progress was made in 2008 when the Labor Government amended over 80 pieces of legislation to remove discrimination against same sex couples. This provided overdue relief from discrimination in the areas of taxation, superannuation, health insurance, Social Security, aged care and immigration.
But whilst our nation once led the world on social reform today we are laggards. Spain, Canada, South Africa, Norway, Sweden, Argentina, Denmark, France, Brazil, England, Scotland, the United States and Ireland, amongst others, recognise marriage between same-sex partners.
Now, opponents of reform, use a number of refrains to suggest that discrimination in the Marriage Act should be preserved. The immutability of marriage is a favourite argument. But, as we know, whilst marriage has been around a long time, it is constantly evolving. Marriage laws have also changed over time.
Different classes of people have been excluded from the institution of marriage based on their social or their legal statusfor example, slaves, prisoners and women and men of different races. In Australia, many Aboriginal Australians were not allowed to marry without permission from the state; in fact, a policy which persisted into the 1950s in some parts of Australia.
Today, gay and lesbian Australians are excluded from the institution. It is true that marriage is an enduring institution but it has never been frozen in time. In fact, earlier generations have sought greater equality and often with each change came warnings that the institution would be irreparably damaged and that the fabric of our society would unravel. It is the case that these dire warnings were unfounded. Marriage has endured precisely because it has evolved, adapted and embraced change.
Opposition to Marriage Equality is often expressed using the language of religion. I respect people of faith, but I do not support the proposition that the state should impose the theology embraced by some on all.
In any event, the argument that all people of faith don't or can't support Marriage Equality doesn't reflect reality and speaking personally, I do not think the God of my faith would be affronted by who I am, my relationship nor my family.
The change in sentiment on this issue in our community over recent years is obvious. I can see it in the change in attitudes since I was first elected to this place. The easy-going acceptance of our neighbours. The generosity of members of the public who stop me in the street, at the airport, from all walks of life, who tell me to press on. The good wishes received when our daughters were born, not only from friends, but from strangers.
And I see it in those who have joined the campaign for equality. Activists, business leaders, unionists, sporting heroes, parents of gay and lesbian children, and so many more, have voiced their support for equality. And I see it in my own party, in my own caucus room and I thank my colleagues for their movement on this issue over the years.
The fact is, now, most Australians no longer ask: "Why?" They ask: "Why not?"
Polls consistently show that around two-thirds of Australians now support Marriage Equality and most people recognise what our marriage laws don't that gay and lesbian Australians are just like everybody else.
Our relationships are like other relationships. Our desire to make a commitment to our life partner is no different either. The children my partner and I run around after are no different from the kids of opposite sex partners and the joy we feel as they discover the world around them is no different from the joy felt by opposite sex partners. I would hazard to say the challenge of negotiating with a determined four year old is probably no different either.
Our relationship isn't different from the relationships of opposite sex partners but our legal status is not the same. We can't get married in Australia no matter how much we love each other, no matter how committed we are to one another.
But the momentum for change continues to build. Support for Marriage Equality does not require political courage nor is it an act of partisanship.
The Prime Minister and the Leader of the Opposition and a majority of the elected representatives in this parliament support Marriage Equality.
Our debate has shifted from the merits of equality to the method of achieving it and we cannot underestimate the significance of that shift. But nor can we underestimate the impact that choosing the wrong method may have and this method is precisely that.
This Bill represents the wrong method a method that is divisive, expensive, non-binding, and unnecessary. Because instead of a free vote by the Parliament on Marriage Equality, this Bill offers us Tony Abbott's fig leaf.
A $200 million plebiscite. An expensive opinion poll to tell us what we already know that a majority of Australians support Marriage Equality. A mechanism dreamed up by those in the Coalition who oppose equality. A mechanism which would cause division and damage. A mechanism whose outcome the Liberal hard-liners have said they would ignore.
My opposition to a plebiscite is not a decision which I came to lightly. In June I delivered the 28th Annual Lionel Murphy Memorial Lecture at the Australian National University in Canberra. In that speech I set out my personal reasons for opposing a plebiscite. And it came after much thought and much soul-searching.
The conclusion I reached was that a plebiscite is not the right pathway to equality. A plebiscite is unnecessary. As Ive said, we already know that around two thirds of Australians support Marriage Equality.
Recall that this nation did not hold plebiscites on the abolition of the death penalty, on the ending the White Australia policy nor on creating native title rights for Indigenous Australians.
The Racial Discrimination Act and the Sex Discrimination Act were enacted without plebiscites.
State and Federal Parliaments have legislated on abortion, voluntary euthanasia and stem cell research without plebiscites.
We also know a plebiscite is costly. It will cost taxpayers around $200 million. And importantly we know a plebiscite is divisive because it will give those who oppose equality a multi-million dollar taxpayer-funded megaphone to spread their message of intolerance.
This Bill has not even passed Parliament yet already opponents of Marriage Equality are resorting to what can only be described as hate speech. The minister called it discourtesy. It is far more than that. Hate speech in leaflets, posters and online materials.
And I want to say this to those in this chamber, for gay and lesbian Australians this hate speech is not abstract. It is real. It is part of our daily life. And its impact can be very harmful.
We know that the rate of suicide for LGBTIQ people is 3.5 to 14 times higher than the general population. LGBTIQ people are at a higher risk for a range of mental diagnoses and they are significantly more likely to have depression or anxiety.
The tactics those who oppose equality will and are employing in a plebiscite campaign will do further damage to vulnerable people. As mental health expert Professor Patrick McGorry said when he called on the Government to abandon its plebiscite. "Things will be said which will hurt people. Many of them are already vulnerable. There's definitely risk involved."
In September, 196 health care professionals wrote to the Prime Minister warning that a plebiscite campaign could be damaging for vulnerable people in the community.
Now advocates of the plebiscite often point to the Irish experience where the public overwhelmingly voted to change their constitution to allow Marriage Equality. It is remarked upon as a moment of celebration.
But what lies behind the TV pictures? In a recent study, conducted by researchers at the University of Queensland and Victoria University, it was found that during the Irish referendum campaign, LGBTIQ in Ireland were upset, angry, and anxious.
And younger LGBTI people were particularly affected, scoring lower on psychological well-being, and being the group most likely to report negative psychological impacts of the campaign.
Of those surveyed, only 23 per cent would be happy to have a referendum again if they could go back in time. Thats one in five after a referendum that was successful.
But of course a referendum was necessary in Ireland. Here a plebiscite is entirely unnecessary. We do not need a plebiscite because we can achieve Marriage Equality in Australia by Parliament voting, voting to rewrite a few dozen words in the Marriage Act. And thats what it should do, vote to amend the Marriage Act to remove discrimination against same sex couples who want to commit to each other for life.
My personal journey to opposing the plebiscite is not unique, it is mirrored in the experience of many Australians.
While the plebiscite initially enjoyed public support, a clear majority of Australians now oppose a plebiscite and want Parliament, those of us elected, to do our job and vote on Marriage Equality.
A recent survey found that support for the Government's plebiscite had fallen to 38 per cent. And in fact support dropped further, to 20 per cent, when respondents were informed of the cost of the plebiscite, and the fact that Government members would be free to ignore its outcome.
LGBTIQ Australians overwhelmingly oppose a plebiscite. A survey conducted by Galaxy for Parents and Friends of Lesbian and Gay Australians (PFLAG) found that 85 per cent of LGBTIQ people oppose a plebiscite. And we are hearing the message directly from the Australian people - thousands have written and called my office, expressing concerns.
I know there are some who have dismissed these concerns, who have described our opposition as nave. Self-styled political hardheads who claim we should toughen up. Or alternatively suggest that if we could grit our teeth we could get through a short sharp debate, even if it is uncomfortable.
I wish instead of rushing to judgement people saying these things could instead have been curious. Curious as to why the overwhelming majority of the LGBTI community opposes this Bill. Curious as to why those most affected by the current discrimination in our laws were prepared to say no.
I cannot speak for all, but I will say this. I and many others opposed this bill because we already know what hate speech feels like.
We opposed this Bill because we did not want our families and our children publicly denigrated.
Because we know that those opposed will stoop to any argument to prevent change.
Because we do not trust this Prime Minister and this government to stand up for us, our children and for our community.
Because we have seen their silence when their own backbench speak. Because we know their weakness in the face of prejudice.
And because we know what damage can be caused in the light and heat of a national campaign.
As Dr Grainne Healy has said, the Irish Marriage Equality vote was "brutal" for LGBTIQ people.
Well, we have listened to LGBTIQ Australians and we have listened to the broader Australian community and that is why we will oppose this Bill.
But that is not the end of the matter. Despite the febrile rhetoric of the Attorney-General, there is clear way forward. A clear way for the Parliament to do what Australians want it to do resolve this issue, once and for all, by voting on a bill for Marriage Equality.
All we need for that to happen is a free vote by members of the Liberal Party.
All we need is for the Liberal Party to live up to its principles of individual liberty and choice.
All we need is for the Prime Minister to exercise leadership.
I know there are those in the government, even some who support Marriage Equality, who are saying this bills defeat closes the issue for years. So I say to all who support Marriage Equality, we cannot allow this to be so.
We cannot allow this government to continue to force their members to vote to not have a vote. To vote to stop a vote.
The LGBTIQ community has been fighting for equality for decades. We have done so with our friends and allies and we have won many advances and we will win this debate.
Momentum continues to build and the forces of change will not go away. Marriage Equality supporters will fight for a vote in Parliament and we will do so because we know that prejudice and discrimination can be overcome.
We know that what Australians have in common matters more than the division and difference some wish to cultivate.
And we know that understanding and acceptance will prevail which is why we will keep working and we will keep campaigning and keep fighting until this Parliament does what the community wants and legislates for Marriage Equality.